What I don't Like about Loliver
by CrazyJMB
Summary: This story is my modification of the episode "What I don't like about you" told from Miley's POV. Warning: definitely contains spoilers. An Anti-Loliver story with Moliver at the end. Please Read and Review.


Ok so I just saw "What I don't like about you" on youtube and I am very disappointed by it. In my opinion, the whole episode displayed reasons why Oliver and Lilly shouldn't date, but yet they end up together at the end.

Therefore, I'm writing this to show what should have happened in it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana. If I did, those writers who were responsible for this episode would be fired.

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Miley's POV

"Surprise!" exclaims Lilly and Oliver as I walk through the door.

I just came home after being away, filming my movie. I hug them both, Lilly first and Oliver second. Although, it was the latter that made my heart flutter. Over the past few months, and especially after being away filming, I realized how much I like Oliver as more than a friend. Sure Chase Crawford was amazing, but my feelings for Oliver ran much deeper than anything Crawford had to offer.

"So what have you guys been up to?" I ask.

"The beach", answers Oliver.

"The mall", answers Lilly.

"More beach", continues Oliver.

"More mall", continues Lilly.

"Then that one day, it almost rained", says Oliver.

"Oh but it didn't and look I took pictures", says Lilly as she pulls out her phone to show me.

"Oh my beach. I miss it. I also almost miss Rico's overpriced nachos", I say.

It was true. I did miss the beach and Rico's nachos almost as much as I missed my two best friends. Was I ever glad to be back with them, especially Oliver.

"Yeah well go get changed and we can go head down and get sick to our stomachs together", suggests Lilly.

"Yeah nothing says welcome back like an explosive case of nacho-ria", says Oliver causing Lilly to laugh.

Ok that's odd. Since when does Lilly find Oliver funny? I mean she always tells me who funny looking he is. However, she never laughs at his jokes. I thought the only thing more unlikely was Daddy going a day without talking about his hair.

"You two are disgusting, I miss that", I say and then proceed to hug them both again.

I then ran upstairs to change, but quickly realized that I forgot something and had to go back downstairs.

Lilly and Oliver are disgusting, but that's part of why I love them. It's nice that they got to spend some extra time together. Their relationship is sort of what I wish I had with Jackson sometimes. The key word is sort of though. You know maybe if he wasn't so immature, and unsanitary, and dumb. Can't forget dumb. Ok let me get my…What are Oliver and Lilly doing! It almost looks like they're kissing. Oh sweet niblets they are!

For a good minute, I think I just gaped at the sight of my two best friends kissing. To say that I am shocked would like saying that Oliver used to kind of like Hannah Montana. Recently, it seems like I don't go a day without wondering what would have happened had I given Oliver a chance back then. Unfortunately, by the looks of things, I might be too late to have regrets now.

Why did Lilly have to choose Oliver? I mean this is rather disgusting if you think about it. They are like twins, separated at birth. She could have picked any other guy, but she had to pick my Ollie. The sweet, loyal, wonderful guy with those amazing brown eyes. I'm a sucker for brown eyes after all.

As I listen to Oliver and Lilly debate on whether to tell her or not about their relationship, she felt on numerous occasions the need

* * *

to gag. She then heads back upstairs, unable to stomach anymore of those too. Maybe nachos are a bad plan, considering the state of my stomach.

After I got changed and joined Lilly with a burger (since nachos equal Miley pukee). Oliver then joined us with a drink for each of us.

"You know what, I forgot straws", says Oliver as he begins to get up and head back to the shack.

"No no no, we don't need straws!" exclaims Lilly as she forcefully pulls Oliver back down into his seat.

"Oh Oliver, you are so considerate. Isn't he considerate? And he's cute too", I say. It wasn't until afterwards that I realized that I had been flirting with him a bit.

"What?" asks Lilly and Oliver simultaneously.

"Yeah! You know, being away so long really opened my eyes. You're one cutey-petutie", I say as I continue to flirt by tickling him under his chin.

Wait they're going out! If I keep flirting with Oliver they'll get suspicious. I have to act fast.

"And your no slouch either", I say as I pats Lilly on the head.

Yeah this works. They'll never suspect a thing.

"You know what, you guys should date", I then suggest.

Wait what did I just say? I know I'm trying to throw them off so they don't get suspicious of my finding Oliver cute, but that wasn't what I meant. I shouldn't encourage them. That's the last thing I need. But since I've already started on this path…

"And then not tell me about it", I say as angrily as possible.

Ok I was more angry that Oliver was dating someone…who wasn't me than anything else really. I wasn't that upset that they didn't tell me.

"I told you she'd freak", says Oliver.

Of course my donut…I mean my Ollie…I mean Oliver is correct. I am freaking out. Wait they can't know the real reason why though.

"I'm only freaking because you guys didn't tell me", I lie.

I hope they don't see right through me!

"I'm happy for you guys", I lie, trying not to gag or cry at the same time. I then lean forward and put on the cheesiest fake smile.

"So how did it happen?" I ask.

Then they go into this sickening story about how Lilly grabbed Oliver to slow dance so she didn't have to be asked by Nose-whistle Wally. Can't say I blame her in that respect, but that's besides the point.

"So I grabbed Oliver before he could and you know it was just the way my head fit into his neck", says Lilly as she leaned her head against Oliver's neck.

Her head fits into his neck. BIG FREAKING DEAL. I played hockey for Oliver, I forgot the national anthem because of Oliver, heck I flew down the beach in a chicken suit for him. Obviously that doesn't mean anything though.

"You know, her hair smelled like apples…" starts Oliver. "I like apples".

Wow do I really need to puke now. And guess what, Lilly and I use the same type of shampoo. Do you know how I know that? Well one day we were at the mall and we both got these free apple shampoo samples and really liked it. We've been using the same brand ever since. In other words: MY HAIR SMELLS LIKE APPLES TOO!!!

Wait I have an idea. This is sort of mean, but desperate times calls for desperate measures. I happen to know that when Oliver went out with Joannie, he never remembered the first song they danced to together, no matter how many times she told him.

"Aww, so that means that whatever song you two danced to is your song. What was it?" I ask trying to sound as friendly and innocent as possible.

"It was…" they start together.

"Radiohead", says Lilly as Oliver says, "Coldplay".

Yes! I thank God for Oliver's boy brains. Oliver and Lilly then start getting into an argument over which band played. I decide to push it a little further.

"So where was your first date?" I ask, still trying to portray a friendly, innocent image.

"I took her to the movies", says Oliver.

"We went ice skating!" yells Lilly immediately afterwards.

"Did I say first date, I meant second", trying to "save" situation even though I knew it was way beyond repair.

"I can't believe you don't remember our first date!" exclaims Lilly.

"And I can't believe you think Radiohead is better than Coldplay!" retorts Oliver.

"Ok what are you like 12? Let it go!" says Lilly.

"Well excuse me for having an opinion. Yes dear! Whatever you say dear!" says Oliver sarcastically.

"You know what, since you like Coldplay so much, then they should be your girlfriend. You can take them skating…and then NOT REMEMBER IT!" yells Lilly.

They kept on arguing for a while longer before they tried to take me wherever they were going. Maybe my plan wasn't the best idea. Sure it looks like the whole Oliver-Lilly dating thing isn't going to work, but from the looks of it…hanging out with both of them at the same time looks rather impossible. Ok so I'm probably exaggerating. I'm sure they are just venting right now and everything will be fine.

"Forget it, I'm out of here", says Lilly.

"Not before I am", says Oliver.

"Alright, you guys are going to get half-way home and then realize how ridiculous this is and when you do, I'll be right here waiting for you. Right here!" I exclaim as they each stomp home.

They'll be back. I know it. They'll come back and after we peacefully talk, they'll realize what a horrible match they are for each other, break up amicably, and then we go back to being the 3 amigos. And then I'll figure out how to hook up with Oliver without causing World War III.

It's just a matter of waiting them out. Any minute now…

* * *

"Honey it's almost midnight", says Daddy who brings me a blanket. "I don't think that…"

"They'll be back!" I yell.

However, I sat there for a couple more hours and they weren't back. Sweet niblets, it's time for plan B.

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This will probably have 2-3 more chapters. For those of you reading, "The Bet", I am more than half-way finished writing it.

As always, tell me what you think. Reviews are appreciated!


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